Advice for Long Distance Relationships - How to Keep the Fire Going
Being so far apart from your lover doesn't mean your relationship should suffer. Thousands upon thousands of couples carry on long distance relationships of one hundred miles or more, and these days? There are more ways than ever to keep up that love connection.
Loving long distance has always been hard. But just for a moment, imagine the standard long-distance relationship of thirty years ago.
There was no internet. No computer. No text-messaging, and no email. No Skyping, no webcams... no cellphone!
To talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend you'd pick up your rotary phone, cross your fingers, and pray that your sweetheart would be home when you called. Or maybe you even sent them a letter, stamped it, and waited a whole week for a response.
The point here is a simple one: compared to the rest of the entire history of dating? You've got it good.
Today's uber-connected world is the perfect place to carry on a long-distance relationship, as long as you're both willing to put in the effort. These days, distance is no excuse for failure - especially with all the methods and tools of maintaining closeness even when far away.
The first thing to do? RELAX. Understand that just because your partner isn't standing in front of you it doesn't mean they love, miss, or need you any less. In fact, in a long-distance or LD romance? They probably miss you more.
Distance creates longing, and that's always a good thing. You need to temper that distance with positive contact, and throw in a bunch of sweet little reminders that let your boyfriend or girlfriend know just how close to your heart they always are.
The problem however, is JEALOUSY. Jealousy is the green monster you never see coming. It's the one thing that will always take down and slowly dismantle a long distance relationship. Why? Because it's hard to know what your lover is doing without you. Especially in the case of new relationships, it's hard to trust someone with your heart when they're miles and miles away.
Trusting Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend in a Long Distance Relationship
If jealousy is the Kryptonite of any good relationship, trust is the hero that puts things right again. If you trust your partner, and he or she trusts you, you'll have a much better time dating each other in general - no matter how close or far you are.
Trust is also an especially valuable commodity when separated by long distances, because a lack of trust leads to bitterness, insecurity, and silent resentment.
Perhaps the greatest thing you can do to increase chances of successfully surviving long distances as a couple is to TRUST YOUR PARTNER. And don't just say you trust them... actually put your trust in the fact that they're staying loyal and committed to you.
Some people think they can somehow control their partners, even when so far away. They're convinced that if they call often enough, text often enough, and keep total track of everything their parter is doing? They'll keep the relationship on track and prevent their lover from straying or cheating on them.
These people are playing themselves, obviously. If someone's going to cheat on you, they'll always find a way. Keeping this in mind, the alternative is always better: give them your heart, and have faith that they'll treat it gently. There will always be temptations, especially if your lover is away at a new school or college, but by maintaining a healthy and happy relationship with them? You're giving them every reason to love you, miss you, and remain loyal.
In short, don't sweat the things you can't control. Don't let your jealousy spiral downward, dragging you along with it, until your relationship is an angry mess of tearful and accusatory phone calls. Give your boyfriend or girlfriend the benefit of the doubt, and focus instead of ways you can connect with them - even just for a few precious moments.
And when you do feel yourself getting jealous? Realize that it's perfectly normal, as long as you don't let your imagination get the best of you. Channel any negative thoughts into positive energy by focusing on the good parts of your relationship.
Check out Long Distance Lovemaking for fun, cute, and totally cool things you can do with a long-distance boyfriend or girlfriend.
Making Good Use Of The Time You Have Together
Being so far away from your lover, it's also easy to become disconnected. You'll be missing each other and making the most of the phone, computer, and internet; but physically seeing or being with one another becomes something you're not so familiar with as a couple.
So when long distance couples do finally get together again? They often find themselves at a complete loss as to how to spend their time. This is because they never planned anything out. They assumed just seeing and being with each other would be enough, yet they find an overabundance of time together where nothing much 'happens'.
Once you plan a trip to visit your LD lover (or have them come visit you), the best thing to do is PLAN OUT YOUR TIME. Ask him or her what they'd like to do, where they'd like to go, and whether or not they'd like to do anything special when you next see each other.
Of course, make plenty of time for the sex factor. You'll need to REALLY make up for lost time in this department, so make sure you leave enough room for lots of physical intimacy. You'll want to rock each other's world for all the time you missed and then some.
But on top of all the lovemaking? You'll also need places to go, people to see, resturants to eat at and romantic things to do together. Check out this massive list of 300 creative dates you can take your sweetheart on the next time you see each other. By not just 'winging it' and hoping for the best, you're maximizing the time you physically have together.
Do Special Things For Your Long-Distance Boyfriend or Girlfriend
Last but certainly not least, you'll want to keep the magic going by doing special things for your LD love. This could be as simple as dropping a card in the mailbox, just to tell your partner how much you're missing and thinking about them.
People love tokens of affection, gifts, flowers, chocolates... all of these things mean something in the overall picture that makes up your relationship. You don't have to go overboard, and you don't have to get expensive: even the smallest gestures can pay big dividends. Imagine your lover feeling lonely, and then opening his or her mailbox to find something from you.
And in the meantime, check the articles below for additional help with maintaining a happy romance, even when you and your partner can't physically be around each other due to distance:
How to Make a Long-Distance Relationship Work - Understand the differences between a long-distance and a regular relationship, and how to stay close even when you and your partner live miles away. Tips and tricks for keeping close over long distances, and how to get your boyfriend or girlfriend to love you even when you hardly see them.(Read More)
10 Things To Do For Long Distance Couples - Running out of things to do with your long distance lover? Check out this list of 10 great activites you can use to keep the magic alive, eliminate the distance, and keep your LD relationship healthy, happy, and thriving! (Read More)
Staying Together When You Go To Different Schools - Boyfriend or girlfriend going away for college? Or are you leaving them behind? Learn how to make your romance survive a long distance separation, even when one or both of you are moving away. Good relationships can survive being miles apart from one another, as long as some simple rules are followed.(Read More)
