What Men Really Want in a Woman - How to Get a Boyfriend

For some women, getting a man is hard. For others, keeping them becomes the hard part. But no matter how successful you are when it comes to men? All women agree on one thing: a good guy is hard to find - and when you do come across one, he's usually worth keeping around.

How to Get a Boyfriend
Get him. Keep him. Love him.

If you're having trouble finding a boyfriend, or a guy who'll commit to a long-term relationship, believe me you're not alone. Millions of women everywhere are looking for the guy of their dreams, and trying not to settle for anything less.

It's not always easy to know what men are looking for in today's modern women, and what characteristics and personality traits make up the overall "perfect girlfriend". But the more you know about what a guy really wants? The more you can make a guy fall for you, and the deeper you can get into a more meaningful relationship.

Ultimately, there's no magical formula for making a guy love you. There's no one set of rules that will work for every man, in every circumstance, no matter what. There are however, a set of rules and guidelines that most men adhere to when looking for the ideal women. So the more of these you actually exhibit? The greater your chances for getting a boyfriend.

So what do guys want? And more specifically, what are they looking for when it comes to girlfriend material, as opposed to someone they'd date more casually in a not-so-serious type of relationship?

The answers actually might surprise you, as they do most women looking for a relationship.

Men are a LOT less complicated than you think we are, and a lot less mysterious than you give us credit for. We're simple, we're easy, and it doesn't really take all that much to make us happy.

What Every Guy Looks For in a Girlfriend - Traits That Men Desire

It's funny, because if you ask a guy what he wants in a woman you'll often find it VASTLY different than what a women think a guy wants. And the culprit? Media.

Television. Movies. Magazines. Newspapers... all of these things tend to stereotype guys in some very negative ways, lumping them into the same general category.

The Woman Men Adore

Men are blatant womanizers and rabid sports-fanatics. We're all looking for supermodel housewives that will cook, clean, and take care of our every basic need. We're also bumbling and inept (i.e. Everbody Loves Raymond) - totally incapable of understanding a woman's feelings or needs.

On top of all this we're selfish and insensitive. We consistently cheat. We'd rather be with our friends, and will trade our woman in for the next youngest model as soon as she comes along.

To understand what a guy REALLY wants, you'll need to wade through all this crap and throw any preconceived notions about men over your shoulder. We're a lot easier to please, easier to make happy, and easier to keep than society (and television) gives us credit for.

Below are some of the most common traits that men look for in a women, a girlfriend, and ultimately, a wife. See which ones you're able to field, and you'll know where you stand when it comes to dating men in general:

Most Common Traits That Men Are Attracted To

  • Independence - When it comes to a relationship with women, independence is key. Guys value their own independence, so they expect you to have a certain level of independence of your own. Neediness is always a turn off... it can quickly drag down a relationship if left unchecked. There's nothing wrong with relying on your boyfriend from time to time, but if you find yourself constantly needing to hear from or see him all the time, you probably don't have much of a life of your own. Have your own thing going on, and you'll always be that more attractive to guys.
  • Security - Few things are more exhausting than being in a relationship with a girl who's insecure. How you feel about yourself should not depend upon your boyfriend, your friends, or even your family - it's how YOU see yourself that really counts. Insecurity within your relationship means that your boyfriend will constantly feel responsible be telling you how good you are, and you'll always be seeking some kind of outside validation. This is a turn-off, and you need to get past it.
  • Physical Beauty - Let's face it: guys are very visual creatures. We all want a girl who's beautiful, and this means outwardly as well as inwardly. Your physical appearance is thankfully something you can continually work on, so take pride in how you look. You don't have to be a size zero supermodel, but you do have to be happy (and secure!) in the way you look before your boyfriend will look upon you the same way.
  • Charisma - Everyone loves a party. Charismatic people are always attractive to both sexes, so try to be outwardly happy, active, and cool. The more charisma you have, the more attention you'll draw from a guy, and this is the positive attention you're actually looking for. Being shy or reserved won't get you anywhere, in life or in love. If you examine the women you think have the most success with men? They're almost always charismatic.
  • The Ability to Laugh - Seriousness is a disease, and no one wants to catch it. If you're going to be around men and want to attract a boyfriend, being sullen and serious could get you immediately counted out of his dating pool, without even being given a chance for consideration. In short, guys LOVE IT when a girl laughs. It makes them feel important; to be responsible for giving a girl some level of pleasure. Be sure not to take yourself too seriously when going out and meeting new men, because if you do that they're liable to look right past you without a second glance.
  • Happiness - A girl who's happy is a girl who's low drama. She's obviously got her own thing going on, and doesn't have to rely on everyone else for fun. Most of all, she's content with what she has. She isn't striving for something she'll never reach, and she's enjoying the moment... right then and there. By being happy you're giving yourself every possible chance to be noticed by men, and guys will always pick the laughing, smiling girl over the quiet and reserved one.
  • Having Lots of Friends - Any girl with lots of friends is a girl who doesn't sit home alone. She's always out doing things, which means she won't be as needy, won't be as dependent, and will most likely be a lot less insecure about herself socially and physically. Being friends with many people also translates to popularity; to have many of them means you're somewhat charismatic and attractive. And believe it or not, guys often like the challenge of winning you away from amongst a group of girl friends; something akin to hunting out a single prey within a larger pack.

Keep in mind that the above traits are subjective; what one guy finds attractive another might not. That said however, MOST guys are looking for these attributes when attempting to establish a long-term or 'girlfriend' type relationship.

Getting inside a guy's head is important. Check out these cool videos for some really great ideas of what goes on during the thought process of the average man when looking for a partner.

Meeting Men - How to Make a Good First Impression

For women, attracting men is a lot easier than the other way around. Clubs, bars, supermarkets, the laundromat... guys will always be checking girls out, sizing them up, and even imagining certain scenarios in which they get to meet up with or talk to you.

Attract Men
Men naturally like to chase. LET them.

This makes it much easier for women to attract a man, but not so easy when it comes to approaching him. Ideally you'd like the guy to come to you, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with walking up to a guy you think is cute and introducing yourself. We're always flattered by such an event, the same as you are.

One thing you always want to avoid however, is coming on too strong.

Some guys will tell you they like a very forward or outgoing woman, but you want to temper such an approach with some level of holding back. Why? Simple. Guys like to CHASE.

The chase is what makes dating interesting. He advances, you pull back - you step forward, he steps back. All the while you're both smiling, laughing, flirting, and getting to know one another - this is what meeting someone is about, and this is what sparks enough interest to get a phone number or second date.

Giving the guy everything at once can be overwhelming for him, and suddenly the chase is over. This is why coming on strong or being way too aggressive can sometimes make even the most alpha male balk; he's not running away for lack of interest, he's running because he doesn't know how to handle such a direct approach. It might seem like guys can move pretty fast, but most men have a set pace at which they'd like the courting process to go. Speed that pace up and you're forcing them to backpedal, causing them to feel awkward or thrown off their game.

Now this doesn't mean you should sit helplessly and passively by, waiting for the guy to make all the moves. Definitely play the flirtatious role with him, but allow the guy room to pursue you as well. This gives him the confidence and momentum to continue forward, and if you're giving him a green light he'll take things at his own pace.

Tips For Talking to or Flirting With a Guy

Some women go completely silent or shy around men, even if they see signs a guy might be interested in them. If you want to find a boyfriend, you'll need to get over this. The best guys aren't going to chase you unless you throw off some signals telling them to come on over and make a move. Life unfortunately isn't a Kate Hudson movie.

So when meeting a guy you potentially like? Remember the following:

  • Be happy. The more you smile, the more he'll take it as a sign you're interested.
  • Laugh. When you're having fun around someone, it's always a go-ahead signal.
  • Flirt. Use your eyes, your voice, and your body language. Lightly touch his hand or arm.
  • Stay cool. Don't let ANY guy make you nervous - talk to him as you would anyone else.
  • Be open. Some women try to hide too much, and men take this as a sign of disinterest.

The tips above are a good start when it comes to how to handle yourself around men. But for REALLY grabbing attention, and getting the guy to come to you? Check out these proven methods for instantly attracting men.

Getting Guys to Chase You - Always Be Willing to Walk Away

Getting a guy to talk to you is one thing. Making him interested in you is quite another.

Want one really massive tip to making a guy instantly want you more than ever?   WALK AWAY.

Walking away after talking or conversing with a guy you just met is one of the most attention-grabbing things you can do. Whether you get pulled away by friends or politely excuse yourself for some other reason, walking away from a guy who's in the middle of talking to you does something extremely important: it leaves him wanting more.

Men Made Easy

Suddenly you're gone - this shows you're not hanging on his every word, or sitting there parked in front of him. As you leave, he'll get a sense of losing contact - and potentially losing you - if he doesn't do something that gets him back in front of you.

This is where he'll watch you, so be sure you're having fun without him. Laugh with friends, talk to other people, and generally show him that life goes on for you outside the realm of the conversation the two of you were having.

A guy will always pursue you at this point, even if it's just to say goodbye... and get your number before he leaves. But more likely than not, he'll look for a way to bump into you again so he can pick up the conversation where it left off. And when he does? Let him. Smile and talk to him some more, knowing that if he's chased you down long enough to talk to you again he's certainly interested.

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