Seeing and Meeting Up With Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend

Are you dreading seeing your ex boyfriend or girlfriend because you don't know how to handle it? Chin up! Learn exactly what to do and say in this exact situation, when you're about to see your ex for the first time since you broke up.

Seeing Your Ex
Meeting up with your ex...
Do you know how to act? What to say?

Breaking up: it's full of so many unwritten and unspoken rules. But what kind of rules govern seeing or running into your ex after the breakup? Do you act nice? Normal? Should you ignore your ex completely or try to talk to them?

Ultimately, it's what you expect from your post-breakup relationship that determines how you should handle this type of contact. If you're looking for a clean break and to walk away, being short and polite is probably your best bet. But if you're still in love with your ex and want to win them back? Seeing them after the breakup can be a VERY stressful situation.

On one hand you're looking to rekindle your broken relationship, and a big part of you will want to tell your ex how much you still love them. On the other hand however, another big part of you (hopefully) knows this is the wrong approach.

Seeing your ex can be touch and go. You can't come off as overeager, and you don't want to come off as needy, or you'll quickly meeting awkward for the both of you.

How To Talk To Your Ex When You Still Have Feelings For Them

Getting your ex back from an unwanted breakup can be a long road, with every step you take being of utmost important. Physically seeing or talking to your ex however, is one of the biggest things you'll do. If you come off the wrong way or the conversation goes incorrectly, it could sabotage your chances for reconciliation.

On the flip side of things, a good meet-up with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend could easily put you back in their life again. By working your way back into their mind and heart, you could pave the way for getting back together. Making sure you say the right things (and avoid saying the wrong ones) is extremely crucial. Understand which topics are off limits, and how you should react to your ex once you see or speak to them again.

First Impressions - Confidence, Confidence, Confidence!

As hard as it will be to maintain composure, you MUST stay calm in the face of talking to your ex. Try to relax, and act as normal as possible around your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Imagine you never broke up with them at all, and that you're just having a routine conversation.

You never want to come off as needy or desperate when speaking to an ex, or pull any of that sorrowful pity-play. Don't lay guilt trips, and don't try to squirm your way back into your ex's life by making them feel sorry for you. None of this will work, and it will destroy any last ounce of respect your ex still has for you, making it nearly impossible to get back with them every again.

Instead, confidence is king. Try to imagine how it was when you first met your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, and how you acted around them. Be cool and stay relaxed. Be funny, but not too funny. Be confident, but not conceited. When you exhibit the same traits you did when you first attracted your ex, they're going to be attracted you a second time.

Avoid Talking About The Breakup

The subject of your breakup should be completely off limits when you see your ex for the first few times. By avoiding talking about the reasons for your split, you're also avoiding placing blame, or making your ex uncomfortable. If you continue to press and talk about your past relationship's problems, there's a good chance your ex isn't going to want to be around you much.

You can however, talk about your past history together - as long as you're doing it in moderation, and as long as you're only mentioning the good times. You want your ex comfortable, and you yourself want to be comfortable as well; remembering certain happy moments you shared together within your relationship can actually lighten the mood.

There are even some emotional bonding techniques you can use that can uncover buried emotions and draw your ex's past feelings back to the surface again, but be sure you know exactly what you're doing before you start using them.

Let Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Do Most of the Talking

In seeing your ex after the breakup, let them do as much of the speaking as possible. Ask them about work, and how things have been at home or school. Ask about their family, and maybe their friends. These things will get your ex talking, and in an innocent yet pleasant type of way. He or she will start to feel comfortable around you, which will lead your ex to open up.

By not talking too much about yourself, you're also giving your ex a reason to see or speak to you again. Your ex is probably curious as to what you've been up to since they broke up with you, and they might even ask you outright. If they do, try to be intentionally vague. Don't give away too much all at once, and don't let your ex know every little detail.

By leaving some things to his or her imagination, you're allowing your ex to worry that maybe you're moving on with your life. Maybe they can't get you back after all, and maybe they need to make a quick move if they're considering putting you back in their life.

Meeting Up With Your Ex For The First Time Since The Break

If your ex asks to meet you, it's generally a good sign that he or she might want you back. At the very least, your ex has unresolved feelings that they're trying to explore. Allow this to happen naturally, and above all else, don't rush things.

When meeting your ex, try to suggest someplace that will be short and sweet. Coffee or lunch are both good ideas, as they allow the reunion date to take place quickly and end before things get awkward. In the beginning, you want to give your ex small doses of yourself. By not giving away too much, and by ending the date relatively quickly, you're always going to leave your ex wanting more of you.

Other Great Moves For Getting Back With Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend

In the end, reversing your breakup is all about attitude. It's also about getting your ex to want you back, and concentrating on ways to do just that. There are no-contact rules, withdrawal methods, and instant reconnection techniques that all have a time and place on the road to reconciliation. Make sure you know what each of these things are, and what phase of the breakup you might happen to be at right now.

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emmon_mosa    said on 09-23-2011

I work with my ex and have to see him every day. Do I ignore him? Do I say hi? Do I pretend not to like him? It's emotionally hard to see him, but I don't want to act as if I we never met.

Val    said on 09-21-2011

What kind of emotional bonding techniques are you talking about? My boyfriend of eight months broke things off in August, but so far he's only called once. We almost saw each other but he backed out at the last minute and told me he didn't think it was a good idea.

I want to call him again, but the last time I did (two weeks ago) he got off the phone in a big hurry. I don't know what to do!

Amaralda Mara    said on 09-13-2011

What if your exboyfriend doesn't want to see you? What do you do then?

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