Fixing Your Marriage - Salvaging The Relationship From Divorce

Divorce... it's never a word that anyone likes to hear. When you married your husband or wife and started your new life together, neither one of you thought you'd be in a place where divorce was ever a consideration.

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But now? Your marriage has problems. And those problems are severe enough that you've thought about separating or even divorcing each other.

In some cases, maybe you already have. Maybe your marriage is hanging on by a thread, and nothing you do seems to have any impact on making things better between you and your husband or wife.

The first thing to consider is this: everyone goes through marital problems. Some issues are bigger than others, but there's no way in the world two people can get together and be 100% compatible, 100% of the time.

No, the reality of modern relationships is that there will always be disagreements, fights, and even arguments over different aspects of any marriage. But the good and lasting ones? They know how to handle things before they get out of control. They know how to stop things for spiraling downward to the point where one person begins resenting or disliking the other.

Stopping a Divorce Before it Starts - Communicating With Your Spouse

If you've decided to try and save your marriage from divorce, the first thing you need to do is keep calm. If you're angry about something in particular - even if you have the right to be angry about it - any constructive communication you attempt to have with your husband or wife will fail miserably. People tend to get very closed-minded once they feel like they're being attacked, so save any disagreements you might have for later on.

Instead, you need to keep a level head and remain calm. Sit down by yourself and try to identify the issues that have caused problems within your marriage in the past. These could be anything from money problems to something as severe as infidelity or cheating; whatever they are, list them out and be honest about it.

When you're done, look at the list again. Now scratch off the little things. These are the issues that nag or annoy you more than they really damage your relationship, and if you want to save your marriage right now you'll have to be somewhat tolerant of them.

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Next, focus on what you can do to help alleviate each of those problems. Even in the case where you think one of those problems belongs solely to your spouse, the very least you can do is be supportive about fixing it.

When approaching your spouse with this list, don't play the blame game. Don't ambush them and start pointing to the list, or they'll think you're pointing the finger at them. Try to remain cool, and try to focus on the solutions rather than the problems. Then ask your spouse what he or she thinks, and actually LISTEN to their opinion before dismissing anything.

Sometimes, people just need to be heard. A marriage can quickly shut down when one or both partners feel like the other isn't listening. Be respectful and attentive when your partner speaks his or her viewpoints, and try not to interrupt. Then counter with your own ideas, and do it calmly and rationally so that your partner doesn't feel like you're making an attack.

End The Conversation While The Communication is Still Constructive

There's such a thing as too much talking, especially when it comes to patching holes in a relationship. Sometimes, at some point, you need to stop the talking altogether and take a break from discussing your differences and concerns.

Go out to eat, rent a movie, watch some television together - do whatever's necessary to take a break. This gives you both some time to cool off, get away from the seriousness of the conversation, and just get back in the groove of actually having fun together... like the good old days.

Ideally, try to choose something that your husband or wife likes to do (i.e. their favorite resturant, a movie they'd like to see, etc...) Taking the time to do this is sweet, and it shows that you're still willing to compromise to make them happy.

Remember: you can't fix all the problems of your relationship all at once. It takes time to work on things, even once they're identified, and it takes patience too.

Bringing Your Romance Back to The Way it Used to Be

Remember when you first fell in love? The powerful emotions you both felt, and the overwhelming emotional, physical, and sexual attraction?

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Well good, because so does your husband or wife. Just as you have nothing but awesome memories of those times, your spouse has the same recollections. This is important, because it gives you common ground. It's the framework that your entire relationship was built upon; a good, solid, happy foundation.

To save your marriage and bring it back from the brink of divorce, you'll need to get your partner to re-live some of this original magic.

There are reconnection methods and techniques you can use to rekindle the sparks of your early romantic history, so make sure you learn them. They can really enhance the quality - if not quantity - of the time you spend together.

And in the end? Make sure you MAKE time for your husband or wife. No matter how busy you are, or how jammed your week might be, there should always be time for the two of you to spend alone. This means no kids, no work, no cellphones, and no distractions. Just the two of you hanging out together... like you used to, back before your lives got crazy and your time got short.

What To Do If Divorce Proceedings Have Already Started

Now if you're already in the process of divorce or have separated, getting together to work through problems is a much tougher thing. In this case you'll need to get your spouse to be open and receptive to the idea of first seeing you and then talking about your problems together.

The good news however, is that ANY relationship situation can be worked through. With the right approach and the right amount of patience, you can eventually bring your partner back to a point where he or she remembers loving and needing you in their life.

Bring Back The Love Of Your Life

That's where Cucan Pemo comes in. A relationship guru and marriage-solving master, Pemo has held countless seminars all over the world on the subject of love help and relationship repair.

His book, Bring Back Love, is an instantly-downloadable 4-step guide to winning back the love of your life.

The author maps out a complete blueprint telling you exactly what to do in the event of a breakup or separation, and how to jump right back on track to getting back together, even when things seem utterly hopeless between you.

Be sure to read up on the many testimonials from happy couples who've already used these techniques to save their marriage or relationship.

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SS    said on 09-13-2011

What if you're separated already? How can you fix your marriage if your wife moved out and won't talk to you?

Good Advice    said on 09-13-2011

The thing about ending the conversation while it's still constructive is really great advice. There comes a time in any argument where you just KNOW nothing else is gonna come out of it... that's the time to walk away while you're still not so heated or pissed at each other.

counseling_is_bullshit    said on 09-13-2011

We went to marriage counseling for 8 months, and nothing got resolved! In the end she walked out without looking back, and within a month she was dating another guy.

Saving your marriage is up to you! Don't pay some stranger to sit there and decide who's wrong or right - they have nothing to do with your marriage and will never understand the full deal.

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